Monthly Archives: August 2014

Be Real

They walk into our living room on Wednesday nights & trip over my emotions. I could be happy or sad or angry or irritable or at worst, indifferent. The candles are lit for aesthetics’ sake, I’ve straightened up the camping chairs that double as our living room furniture, the coffee is waiting to be pressed, & I’ve made sure everyone has a mug ready to be filled. But my cup is empty & they see it on my face. I wear everything on my face. Each Wednesday I look forward to meeting together, but I never know where I’ll be emotionally & spiritually at the end of the day. And the version of me at 8pm on Wednesday nights is the me that my team will know the best.

We set Wednesday nights aside to worship together as team & as family. A team made up of families & a family that’s our team. But Wednesday doesn’t really care that we’re meeting to share our hearts & that we should have everything together. A Wednesday could offer anything from free produce at the market –to– a sick baby –to– gunfire that’s too close for comfort –to– a cracked MacBook screen thanks to said sick baby {gasp}.

But you see, it doesn’t matter if baby boy projectile vomits on our living room rug plastic mat at 7:58 & I only have 2 minutes to get his clothes changed, teeth brushed, put in bed, our entire house sanitized, & then pull myself together enough to act like I’m not super annoyed before we come together as the church. Because that’s what we are: the church. We are the good, the bad, the ugly, & the unbearable; and this is what the church is made of.

It takes a little perspective in those moments leading up to 8:00 for me to realize, however, that I don’t HAVE to pretend I’m not annoyed with the puke or with the gunshots. Like I said – my face says it all & they’re going to know anyway. And then it’s like this newfound freedom knowing I can simply rest in being real with my brothers & sisters in Christ. Letting my team/church/family know my struggles. Letting them help me bear my burdens. Letting the fact that they had a crappy Wednesday too bring comfort that we’re not on this path of difficult obedience alone.

Because when we put on compassion & humility, bear together, forgive & be forgiven, & put on love… we bind ourselves in perfect unity. [Colossians 3:12-14]
Perfect unity can’t exist in a counterfeit church. Perfect unity comes in sincerity of heart.

So, I’ll just take next Wednesday as it comes. I might smile when they come through my door or I might not. But the coffee will be hot & in our candor, we’ll let the Spirit of God fill what’s empty.

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