Monthly Archives: March 2016

Dear Roscoe: One Year


You are totally in the throes of second baby treatment. You nurse on demand. Your juice isn’t cut by 90% water. You’ve already eaten your fair share of desserts & often get Pringles for a snack. Your journal has a total of 3 entries. I’ve not taken nearly enough photos of you. And I couldn’t recall the exact date of when you first smiled or sat unassisted if a gun was held to my head.

But oh, I enjoy you.

Nursing you has been carefree & fun. You love juice too much to yuck it down with water. You just love table food & let’s not pretend I have the fortitude to withhold it from you. I’m too busy watching you & oooh-ing & awww-ing to hand-write what you’re doing or what you’re in to. I dropped my phone in water while I was juggling fresh produce in one hand & you in the other & now I can’t actually see my screen to take pictures. And no, I don’t remember the dates of all your firsts, but I was there & I was present & I wasn’t worried if you were hitting all the milestones on time because you’re just perfect. Fat & maybe red-headed & gap-toothed & thumb-sucking & funny & cuddly & still so baby.

From my quick & relatively easy labor to our first night together with KK & Daddy to going home to meet Shepherd to sleeping through the night to your first flight to cutting teeth to crawling to pulling up to turning one year old, you have been such a simple addition to our family. It’s like it doesn’t occur to me to be panicked about all the things that panicked me in my early-mama days because you’re just so easy. Easily content & smiley & always laughing & ever napping & never crying & so laid back. It seems impossible that I cried so hard the day after you were born because I wanted you all to myself again. Because it is my everlasting joy that I get to share you with people who love you but have never even seen you in just 4 short weeks. I get to let everyone in on the best-kept secret that I’ve had for one whole year now. You’re just too good & soft & squishy to keep to myself.

Being away from you for 2 weeks recently had me sniffing baby wipes in a pharmacy, hanging out alone in public play areas, & brought me to ugly-tears one night when I saw a Down’s baby that was your age. Distance made this heart grow fonder & had me thinking crazy thoughts like a) kidnapping other babies, b) offering to breastfeed a stranger’s baby, c) having 8 more babies, or d) all of the above.

You sweet, sweet baby boy. You rub your hair when you nurse, you love bath time, & you laugh every single time you fart. I get you.

I love you so, Rockos. Be mine forever.